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• #BULLS GUARD DENZEL VALENTINE RELEASES DEBUT ALBUM FREE#

There are times to be nice, this isn’t one of them. But he was the 14th pick (taken over Dejounte Murray, Pascal Siakam, Malik Beasley, and Caris Levert) and just sucked at every single facet of the game.

If he was a 9th man of a good team, maybe I care less. I don’t even get mad at someone like Big Cris Felicio (he took the money that GarPax gave) but Denzel was over the top obnoxious and frustrating to watch as a Bulls fan. He danced a lot, he talked a lot, and he had swagger? in the same way that Jake Paul does, but he added nothing of value as a winning basketball player. His most famous positive moment as a Bulls came during Summer League when he hit a buzzer beating shot to crown the Bulls of 2016 Summer League Champs! I love how he never averaged more than 0.7 FTA or shot above 41% from the field! He was described as a 3 point shooting threat, with more than 60% of his field goals coming from 3, yet only connecting on 33% of those his final 2 years with the Bulls. According to basketball reference, this pile of slop below was accumulated in his 4 years with the Bulls. When looking at his stats, there is not much that sticks out on the positive side. He loved to dance, talk shit, and ignore defense but that’s what Bobby Portis was for! He perfectly summed up the GarPax era and was a perfect selection for their eye for talent.

He couldn’t guard 2’s or 3’s and was boom or bust from 3 with no other means of scoring. There were maybe? a few flashes here and there but Valentine looked overmatched as an NBA player from the jump. (Arrested Development Narrator: He didn’t). What he lacked in athleticism he would make up in craftiness. Billed as a high IQ, playmaking wing with a lethal 3 point shot, Denzel was anything but. They added Rajon Rondo, an over the hill and uninterested Dwyane Wade (otherwise known as the 3 Alphas dark ages) and then drafted Denzel Valentine, a 34 23 year old rookie with chronic knee problems and the inability to dunk a fucking basketball. The promise and premise was that the Bulls would adapt around Butler and become “younger and more athletic.” After that absurd press conference and selling off Derrick Rose to the Knicks for Robin Lopez and the equivalent of a basketball queef in Jerian Grant, the Bulls did the complete opposite. After a tumultuous and simply pathetic 2015 campaign that saw the Bulls under achieve once more under Fred “my way or the highway” Hoiberg (despite having a roster with Derrick Rose, Jimmy Butler, Pau Gasol, Joakim Noah, Taj Gibson, Niko, Mike Dunleavy and crew), GARPAX declared a new era of flexibility and mediocrity. The year was 2016, and the Chicago Bulls were a fucking mess. And I get it this is harsh, but Not to shit on the guy, he is awful at basketball and is easily in my top 5 most despised Bulls of all time and it’s not difficult to understand why…. He’s the only person to see The Hangover 3 in theaters. It’s the first album to ever go straight to Disc Replay. His debut rap album “Made Me” has a robust 187 followers on Spotify and sounds like if Chingy had a baby with the 1-8777 Kars 4 Kids jingle. A career filled with injuries, less than league average 3 point %, and the inability to dunk a basketball, Valentine was another failed GarPax lottery pick. (*Denzel is not allowed in a Hobby Lobby or Michaels to this day as part of a defamation case). If nothing else, you have to admire his commitment to his shit craft. He was constantly on a heat check despite never actually being hot. He has the irrational confidence of Lance Stephenson mixed with Nick Young with a splash of Dane Cook on blow. Topped with pineapple, anchovies, and a vertical jump that would make Zach Randolph blush, Denzel Valentine has given Bulls fans more than any of us could have wanted or deserved.

#BULLS GUARD DENZEL VALENTINE RELEASES DEBUT ALBUM FREE#

The Chicago Bulls have renounced the free agent rights for Cristiano Felicio and Denzel Valentine.- Keith Smith August 9, 2021ĭenzel Valentine, truly the flatbread of pizzas of NBA players.